• Wayne Rooney will write to UEFA in an attempt to have his suspension from international duty capped at one game. In other news, Wayne Rooney can write.
• Manchester United midfielder Tom Cleverley has signed a four year contract with the club.
• Manchester City striker Sergio Aguero is still struggling to overcome his adductor strain.
• Liverpool goalkeeper Pepe Reina is a little bit crazy on matchday.
• Fulham plan on adding 4,300 seats to Craven Cottage.
• Real Madrid manager Jose Mourinho claims that he was provoked into poking Barcelona coach Tito Vilanova in the eye.
• Inter midfielder Sulley Muntari is pleased that he’s been linked to Napoli.
• U.S. manager Jurgen Klinsmann would like to see the MLS schedule synchronized with Europe’s schedule.

• MLS roundup: New York 2-0 Los Angeles.
• Lamar Hunt U.S. Open Cup Final: Seattle 2-0 Chicago.
• Manchester United captain Rio Ferdinand has played down reports linking him with the Chicago Fire.
• Arsenal goalkeeper Wojciech Szczesny would welcome the chance to join Barcelona.
• Tottenham striker Emmanuel Adebayor isn’t bothered by abusive chanting from fans.
• Spurs midfielder Rafael van der Vaart doesn’t want manager Harry Redknapp to play him on the wings or to talk about his injuries.
• Liverpool striker Luis Suarez has ruled out Liverpool’s chances of winning the title this season. Thanks, Luis.
• Aston Villa captain Stilyan Petrov thinks that Villa striker Gabriel Agbonlahor compares favorably with Cristiano Ronaldo.
• Blackburn manager Steve Kean has denied that his recent conversation with Blackburn’s owners was related to his job performance.
• The Johnstone Paint Trophy match between Accrington Stanley and Tranmere was abandoned after Accrington defender Tom Bender received a serious concussion, immobilizing him on the pitch for a half hour.
• Leicester City manager Sven-Goran Eriksson is interested in signing David Beckham on an incentive based contract.
• PSG are also reportedly close to signing Beckham.
• AC Milan striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic is becoming bored with football and is looking forward to retirement.
• Ajax striker Kolbeinn Sigthorsson will be out until January with a broken ankle.

• English Premier League roundup: Everton 0-2 Liverpool, Aston Villa 2-0 Wigan, Blackburn 0-4 Manchester City, Manchester United 2-0 Norwich City, Sunderland 2-2 West Brom, Wolves 1-2 Newcastle, Bolton 1-5 Chelsea, Fulham 6-0 QPR, Swansea City 2-0 Stoke City, Tottenham 2-1 Arsenal.
• MLS roundup: Houston 1-1 Chicago, New England 1-2 Seattle, Toronto FC 1-1 New York, Colorado 1-0 FC Dallas, Los Angeles 2-1 RSL, San Jose 1-1 Sporting KC, Columbus 2-1 DC United, Vancouver 0-1 Portland, Chivas USA 1-1 Philadelphia.
• Article title: “Tevez Shirt Number Allocated to Pantilimon.” Reality: someone screwed up in the publishing of the Man City matchday program, but FourFourTwo knows better than to let reality get in the way of a good headline.
• Chelsea midfielder Frank Lampard scored a hat trick against Bolton.
• Arsenal fullback Bacary Sagna suffered a broken leg against Spurs and may miss up to three months.
• Tottenham coach Clive Allen needs to get over himself.
• Everton plan on appealing Jack Rodwell’s red card.
• Everton have signed 15-year old Bradford City midfielder George Green in a deal that could rise to £2 million.
• Carlo Ancelotti would love to take over at Arsenal, Liverpool, or Tottenham.
• Nottingham Forest manager Steve McClaren has left the club after only ten games in charge. Forest, tipped for promotion, are two points off the bottom of the Championship table.
• Barcelona have lost midfielder Cesc Fabregas to injury for three weeks, but don’t worry: Andres Iniesta is returning to training and should be fit after the international break.
• Napoli beat 10-man Inter 3-0 (perhaps aided by some favorable officiating calls).
• Fiorentina hope to be able to announce good news about a contract extension for midfielder Stevan Jovetic in the near future.
• Columbus striker Eddie Gaven came off the bench to snap the Crew’s six game winless streak with a diving header.
• Chivas USA striker Juan Pablo Angel snatched a draw against Philadelphia with a goal in the 90th minute.

One day at a Merseyside elementary school, a teacher asked her class if Everton were their favorite football team. The whole class said yes, except for Jimmy.

The teacher asked, “What’s your favorite football team, Jimmy?”

Little Jimmy said, “Liverpool.”

The teacher asked, “Well, why is that?”

Little Jimmy said, “Well, my dad is a Liverpool fan, my mom is a Liverpool fan, so I guess that makes me a Liverpool fan.”

The teacher, riled by his reply, said, “If your dad was a moron, and your mom was an idiot, what would that make you?”

Jimmy said, “Well, I guess that would make me an Everton fan.”

Don’t forget, we’re always looking for one of your favorites funnies as well: avoidingthedrop at gmail dot com

Voting is now open:

• English Premier League roundup: Norwich 2-1 Sunderland.
• Carling will end their 14-year sponsorship of the League Cup after this season.
• Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson doesn’t like that his team’s on TV all the time and would prefer people just pay the club and leave them alone.
• Dimitar Berbatov will return to Manchester United’s starting lineup when they play Basel today because all of there other strikers are hurt.
• Manchester City will lay a wreath at the Munich memorial for the 1958 Manchester United air crash. Classy.
• Arsenal could be without midfielder Jack Wilshere until February.
• Arsenal will be without Gervinho, Laurent Koscielny, and Theo Walcott when they face Olympiakos on Wednesday.
• Liverpool striker Dirk Kuyt is disappointed at losing his starting spot to Jordan Henderson.
• Liverpool midfielder Lucas Leiva doesn’t think that Jordan Henderson will suck forever.
• Newcastle have locked down midfielder Jonas Gutierrez to a four year deal.
• Real Betis lost their perfect record to Getafe.
• Real Mallorca manager Michael Laudrup has stepped down after a year in charge at the club.

• English Premier League roundup: Manchester City 2-0 Everton, Arsenal 3-0 Bolton, Chelsea 4-1 Swansea, Liverpool 2-1 Wolves, Newcastle 3-1 Blackburn, West Brom 0-0 Fulham, Wigan 1-2 Tottenham, Stoke City 1-1 Manchester United, QPR 1-1 Aston Villa.
• MLS roundup: Sporting KC 1-1 Philadelphia, FC Dallas 0-1 Houston, Columbus 0-1 Los Angeles, DC United 4-1 RSL, New York 2-0 Portland, Colorado 1-1 San Jose, Chivas USA 3-0 Toronto FC, Vancouver 1-3 Seattle, Chicago 3-2 New England.
• Manchester United may be missing eight senior players when they face FC Basel on Tuesday.
• Arsenal striker Robin van Persie has refused to discuss a new contract with Arsenal; he currently has two years left on his deal.
• Everton manager David Moyes has accused Manchester City defender Vincent Kompany of intentionally trying to injure midfielder Tim Cahill.
• Aston Villa defender Alan Hutton has slammed his treatment at the hands of Tottenham manager Harry Redknapp.
• Blackburn will spend the October international break playing friendlies in India.
• Demba Ba scored a hat trick against Blackburn.
• QPR manager Neil Warnock wasn’t impressed with the performance of referee Michael Oliver.
• Real Betis could go four points clear at the top of La Liga’s table with a win over Getafe tonight.
• Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo both scored hat tricks this weekend.
• Bayern Munich defender Breno is under investigation for suspected arson after the fire in his home was determined not to have been accidental.
• Inter manager Claudio Ranieri thinks Wesley Sneijder’s injury is more severe than first anticipated.
• AZ’s 2-1 win over Feyenoord puts them at the top of the Eredivisie.

A fellow walked into a restaurant, ordered a drink and asked the waiter if he’d like to hear a good Liverpool joke.

“Listen buddy,” the waiter growled. “See those two big guys on your left? They are both former defenders on the Liverpool team. And that huge fellow on your right was a world-class boxer who grew up in Liverpool. That guy in the corner was an olympic weight-lifter from Liverpool. And I grew up around the corner from Anfield and have attended every single home match since I was ten years old. Now, are you absolutely positive you want to go ahead and tell your joke here?” 

“Nah, guess not,” the man replied. “I wouldn’t want to have to explain it five times.”

**************

A man walked into a store and said, “I would like a blue hat, blue pants, white sweater, and white shoes.”
The clerk asked, “Are you a Chelsea fan?”

“Yes,” the man replied. “How did you guess – by the color combination? ”

“No,” the clerk answered, “because this is a hardware store.”

Don’t forget, we would greatly welcome your favorite joke/story. Send them to avoidingthedrop at gmail dot com.

• Carling Cup roundup: Cardiff City 2-2 Leicester City (Cardiff wins 7-6 on penalties), Chelsea 0-0 Fulham (Chelsea wins 4-3 on penalties), Brighton & Hove Albion 1-2 Liverpool, Manchester City 2-0 Birmingham, Southampton 2-1 Preston North End, Everton 2-1 West Brom (aet).
• CONCACAF Champions League roundup: Alajuelense 1-0 Los Angeles, Colorado 1-2 Real Espana, FC Dallas 0-2 UNAM.
• MLS roundup: DC United 2-2 Chivas USA, New York 1-3 RSL, Portland 1-1 San Jose.
• Manchester United centerback Rio Ferdinand should be fit for this weekend’s game at Stoke.
• Manchester City midfielder Owen Hargreaves scored on his debut for City.
• Arsenal midfielder Yossi Benayoun has embraced the culture of the club and suffered a side strain that will keep him out for a couple of weeks.
• Liverpool captain Steven Gerrard is pleased to have finally come through his six month injury ordeal.
• Bolton manager Owen Coyle expects a new Arsenal bid for centerback Gary Cahill this January.
• Ross County were knocked out of the Scottish Cup by Celtic.
• Valencia’s 2-2 draw with Barcelona leaves them undefeated for the season and the top of the La Liga table.
• Real Madrid failed to score for their second consecutive match, stumbling to a 0-0 draw with Racing Santander.
• Health complications have forced Schalke manager Ralf Rangnick to resign.
• Hoffenheim striker Ryan Babel will return to the Dutch lineup to face Moldova and Sweden.
• AC Milan striker Pato injured his hamstring in Milan’s 1-1 draw with Udinese last evening; he’s set to face a month on the sidelines.
• Inter have named former Valencia, Chelsea, and Roma manager Claudio Ranieri as the successor to the recently sacked Gian Piero Gasperini.
• Nacional’s Copa Sudamericana match against Universidad de Chile had to be called off after a linesman was hit with a missle from the stands; this is the second Copa Sudamericana match to be abandoned due to fan trouble this week.
• Pachuca midfielder Jose Francisco Torres will miss several months after needing surgery to repair a broken metatarsal.

• Carling Cup roundup: Wolves 5-0 Millwall, Aldershot Town 2-1 Rochdale, Arsenal 3-1 Shrewsbury Town, Burnley 2-1 MK Dons, Leeds 0-3 Manchester United, Nottingham Forest 3-4 Newcastle (aet), Aston Villa 0-2 Bolton, Stoke City 0-0 Tottenham (Stoke wins 7-6 on penalties), Blackburn 3-2 Leyton Orient, Crystal Palace 2-1 Middlesbrough.
• CONCACAF Champions League roundup: Toronto FC 1-0 Tauro, Monterrey 3-1 Comunicaciones, Seattle 0-1 Herediano.
• Manchester United striker Michael Owen scored twice in United’s win over Leeds.
• Chelsea manager Andre Villas-Boas has asked Mike Reilly why the offsides rule doesn’t apply to Manchester United at Old Trafford.
• Chelsea striker Didier Drogba will return to the team in their Carling Cup tie against Fulham today.
• Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger is pretty sure that if his team sucked as much as everyone says that they wouldn’t have been able to come from behind to beat Shrewsbury Town.
• Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish hopes that beating Brighton in the Carling Cup today will put an end to Liverpool’s poor run of form.
• Liverpool centerback Daniel Agger will miss four weeks after fracturing two ribs against Tottenham.
• Everton plan on offering a contract extension to manager David Moyes.
• Valencia manager Unai Emery hopes to stay top of the La Liga table after his match against Barcelona today.
• Bayern Munich striker Mario Gomez hopes to stay at the club past the 2013 expiry date on his contract.
• Inter Milan have sacked manager Gian Piero Gasperini five games into his managerial tenure after a humiliating 3-1 loss to newly promoted Novara.

• Arsenal chief executive Ivan Gazidis has denied that Arsenal are in crisis.
• Spurs midfielder Gareth Bale thinks that loan signing Emmanuel Adebayor can get Spurs into the Champions League.
• Liverpool defender Sebastian Coates is determined to succeed at Liverpool; the good news for Coates is that it can only get better than the 4-0 loss to Spurs he debuted on.
• Bolton midfielder Stuart Holden has returned to training with the club.
• Real Madrid have lost Pepe and Fabio Coentrao to muscle tears.
• Bayern Munich centerback Breno was treated for smoke inhalation after his house caught on fire.
• Santos striker Neymar plans on staying at Santos until the Olympics.
• Turkey plans on punishing bad fan behavior by banning adult men from the stands.