Avoiding the Drop

Pictured: democracy in action.

I happened to be up at five this morning (because I make outstanding life choices) and while I should have been asleep, I was looking at twitter, and realized that the FIFA speeches on the vote to postpone Blatter’s coronation were about to begin.  So naturally I stayed up to follow those developments.

Once the rage subsided I was able to fall asleep around seven. Simply put, my opinion is that the spectacle today in Zurich proved what we already knew: nothing is going to change, and those who have piped up are well and truly screwed.  If you follow us on twitter and happen to have been awake (or living in Europe) you may have noticed that I did not react particularly well to the announced “reforms” or the posturing by certain FAs against England’s motion to delay the vote.  What unfolded today was, to me, far worse than what happened in early December.  While the decision to give Qatar the 2022 World Cup is looking less justifiable by the day, it’s one tournament.  What happened today guarantees that the circumstances that led to Qatar’s selection will not be genuinely addressed, and we will have more Qatars on the horizon. 

Oh and it also guaranteed that we will not see a World Cup in England during our lifetimes.  Through a combination of the way they handled these allegations (horribly) and the way in which minnow FAs are going to band against them (predictably), England are now going to be outcasts in the world of FIFA.  I’m no England apologist, I don’t think they were the strongest bid for 2018 in all honesty, but the fact is that don’t deserve the blackballing they’re about to experience.  And that it is going to be done under the guise of reform is sickening.

We started with some solid pontificating from FAs who were doing nothing but brilliantly casting their allegiances with Blatter and the status quo.  The Democratic Republic of Congo’s delegate spoke up,  putting Lord Triesman on blast: “We are ill at ease with people who wield unfounded accusations – he who accuses must provide evidence.” Well hey, it’s not like any of the allegations have been corroborated by people within FIFA that have no connection to the English FA.  Oh wait, yes it is.  But this is no time for facts.

Facts are bothersome, especially when it comes to corruption.  Traditional powerhouse Cyprus came gallantly to the defense of the helpless little old FIFA, with their chair adding: “Allegations, what a beautiful English word that is. Someone stands up says a few things in the press and then these things take their own body and mind, they are expanded, take a seed in our minds without most of the time a single shred of truth.”  Most of the time, sure, the English press is probably making stuff up when it comes to the sport. Just like the German, Italian, Spanish and French press.  Because it sells papers.  But guess what? This appears to be one of those instances that falls outside “most of the time.” Again, when you have internal allegations of bribery, to pin this all on the media is laughable at best.

Benin and Haiti also chimed in with similar critiques of the mean old English press.  Now you may be wondering “why the hell are Congo, Benin, Haiti, and Cyprus making a big deal about this?”  The answer: power politics.  In political science terms, this is what we call bandwagoning (not the type that leads to 99% of Chelsea support in the world, different kind).  A nation that is weak and has no real say in the process can gain a level of power by tying itself to a hegemon.  All they add to the powerful body they’re allying with is numerical support and the exploitation of any of their resources.  And out of it, the minnow gets protection from the hegemon (FIFA).  These association leaders are brilliantly pragmatic, they see that Blatter and his legacy are going nowhere, and those who challenge it are going to be left in the cold, and they have to pick a side. It’s an anarchical world system they operate in, and self interest trumps all.  If it means siding with the greater of two evils because you cannot stand on your own, you have to do it.  Basically it’s like in the horrific Star Wars prequels where the Amos and Andy puppet named Jar Jar is an inconsequential little nothing but is used to bring about a vote that puts Palpatine into power.  But now thanks to the “reforms” to the voting process, the minnows / Jar Jars out there have a full vote in the decision instead of just the Executive Committee.  This should in theory be a step to more democratic rule.

It is far from that.

In my opinion this is a deepening of the problem.  Now instead of a small group of voting blocks, you have the entirety of FIFA being able to cast a vote (after the ExCo chooses a shortlist of hosts, DEMOCRACY!).  Problem is, and this may be too cynical but I would say pragmatic, do we really trust these smaller associations to be steadfast in voting based on merits?  I sure don’t.  Now I don’t trust the bigger associations to do this either of course, because it’s all politics. But now you have more votes that can be bought, and more importantly from associations that had minimal importance beforehand. That isn’t a dig, it’s a fact.  Many of these associations have serious internal problems relating to lack of resources and poor infrastructure.  An infusion of cash from someone seeking their vote could be a huge boost to them.  As Pitt the Elder said, “Unlimited power is apt to corrupt the minds of those who possess it.”

LORD PALMERSTON!

Now here’s the thing: I would buy into this reform as an actual push toward democratic processes if FIFA were to outsource the policing of their members. But they will not. The speeches today confirmed that it will all be kept in-house and that the ruling elite detest the idea of letting anyone from outside the FIFA Family look into the problems within the organization.  This is the biggest problem.  It’s like in The Departed where Matt Damon is tasked with uncovering the identity of the snitch within the police ranks and it is actually him.  I’m not saying this will end up with Marky Mark shooting Sepp followed by an absurdly ham-fisted piece of imagery with a rat crawling across a windowsill, because that would be some sort of result, and we’re not going to see results here.  The in depth look at finances is going to be a sham.  If FIFA were genuinely serious about this they would have taken a look long ago, because make no mistake this is not a new development, there have been rumblings of corruption for years.  The problem is, there is no reason for those who are on the take to even remotely considering changing.  Considering how high Jack Warner was within the organization, there’s absolutely no reason to believe that there’s a single branch of FIFA that is fully honest, we cannot afford to give them that benefit of the doubt.  As we saw with Chuck Blazer, if you blow the whistle, you are going to be a target.  With Sepp in charge for another four years, where is the motivation for anyone to change?  Why would anyone give up the unlimited and unchecked power they wield?

Pictured: wielder of the Flame of Anor

Now I am not sure what the answer to this problem is.  Many others have long said that the only path to change is major associations pulling out and threatening to form their own body.  Would a World Cup without England alone matter to FIFA?  Nope. Not now, anyway.  England screwed the pooch, while I believe their accusations (because they’re been backed up and expanded upon by others without a dog in the fight, you know, because I’m rational), they really blew it by sitting on them for so long, because it makes them look less sincere.  It makes them look like they didn’t really care until they were sure they would not get 2018, that they would have been okay with all the corruption as long as they still somehow got the bid.  But because of the new system that is going to be rolled out, and the fact that it seems clear they are going to be outcasts, their power is now essentially gone.

But, there is another (boom, two Star Wars references!).  Germany.  Germany are credible, and are now calling for an examination of the Qatar decision. Germany cannot be cast as sore losers like England can.  Some saw Der Kaiser as a hope to challenge for the FIFA presidency down the line, but considering he supports Sepp and hopes the allegations just go away, well it would seem he’s certainly no white knight.  But Germany is powerful without him, politically, economically, and in the game itself.  If Germany can spearhead the initiative to push for investigations – legitimate investigations – into corruption, it will be an infinitely more legitimate campaign than England’s.  Will it matter? Maybe not.  Maybe we’re foolish to think that an organization that deals in a lucrative commodity is capable of being anything but corrupt.  Maybe there’s just too much money involved and the corruption is too deeply rooted to really do anything about it without completely starting over.

But in the meantime, we are stuck with Sepp and we are stuck with the attitudes and allegiances that got us into this mess.  If it’s any consolation, the fact that the bribery allegations relating to Qatar are being substantiated shows that those who criticized the backlash as xenophobic and praised FIFA for being progressive, are dead wrong.  Guess what: we knew what we were talking about, because we know FIFA. You can argue the merits of hosting a tournament there all you want, but as the days go by it is becoming crystal clear that those merits had nothing to do with the decision.  Sure there is some xenophobia in the backlash, but from those who know the sport, the organization, and the tournament, that is not why we were and still are pissed.  We were mad that the signs pointed toward corruption, we are now furious that the signs have been illuminated with spotlights yet people are pretending they don’t see them.

Two quotes sum the entire process up for me.

Blatter: “Football belongs to everyone and we are the ones in charge.” Yep. We knew this already. It doesn’t matter that it belongs to everyone though, all that matters if they are in charge, and will stay in charge. He wants reform to make sure this doesn’t happen again, but who honestly believes that what he is referring to is the actual corruption instead of getting caught?

Argentina’s Julio Grondona: “We always have attacks from England which are mostly lies with the support of journalism which is more busy lying than telling the truth. This upsets and disturbs the FIFA family.” This was followed by admitting he voted for Qatar because voting for America is the same as voting for England, and that he demanded England return the Falklands if they wanted his vote (while probably not literal, I challenge anyone to find a better metaphor for FIFA’s idea of democracy and transparency).  Again, Chuck Blazer and Jérôme Valcke are not members of the English press.  But what irks me the most is that this guy is blasting a nation’s media for lying when he voted for a nation that does not have a free press. The Qatari government censors their media, and on bigger issues than football, they do not allow discussion of dissent within their borders, typified by the fact that the press was allowed to cover revolts in the rest of the Middle East but not demonstrations within Qatar itself. But FIFA and Grondona do not care about that, they don’t care about what Qatar does, because Qatar’s checks cleared and England were not willing to give out Knighthoods.

Pictured: Grondona makes his pitch.

Maybe I’m just being pessimistic, but to see such an overwhelming backlash against an attempt to shed light on a process that has long been scrutinized and riddled with corruption claims, I have almost no hope for things changing.  Perhaps it’s perfect that right now I’m listening to “Evil Will Prevail” by The Flaming Lips.  Evil will prevail, at least for the next four years.

I just hope I can hold back the bile when I have to read about how I’m xenophobic and hate progressivism because I think awarding the 2034 World Cup to Fiji is a bit dubious.