Avoiding the Drop

This is the hardest thing I have ever written and I used to do work on multiple-homicide appeals on the regular.  So I’m just going to say it (and then rationalize it like crazy): as a Liverpool supporter, I want Manchester United to win the English Premier League title this season.

Now if you pause, the sound you can hear in the distance is a bunch of monocles shattering on the ground and shocked gasps.  The club I detest the most, the one I want to always see lose, the one whose players I consistently mock and remain ever vigilant in trying to cut them down at any turn, yes them, I want them to win.  I know I am not the only one who thinks this, as I’ve read several of my brethren make the same point and get shouted down like Kent Brockman at the press-club.

RHON-HON-HON!

No matter the reasoning provided the response has always been the same: a ton of profanity and horrific spelling.  I doubt I’m going to convince any of those who fly into a blind rage at the suggestion, but in the spirit of my sex-life, that never keeps me from trying.  So if you will, join me in my threefold explanation on why I begrudgingly hope that United bring home number 19 this year.

Reason One: Because It’s United

WHAT???

Now in theory this should be the very bottom of possible reasons I want United to win anything, right behind “discount lobotomy,” but I can explain.

I do not like Sir Alex Ferguson.  But I respect him.

I loathe Ryan Giggs and Ji Sung Park. But how could I not respect them? Remember, I respect Gary Neville for God’s sake (for reasons which for the moment escape me but I seem to recall them being solid).

Ferguson is the enemy and has been since he set his sites on knocking Liverpool from their perch. And wouldn’t you know it: he’s succeeded.  He’s an egomaniac, a control freak, a bit of a knob, but I still respect him because of the mind he has for the game and how he approaches it.  He’ll drop people who need to be dropped, he’ll sign players that he needs, and he’s a firm believer that no player in bigger than the club.  For someone to ship out players like Beckham, Ruud, and Ronaldo yet for the most part bounce right back, that’s incredible to me.  Now the biggest criticism of his sides the past few seasons in the talent department is that he has yet to really replace Roy Keane.  But guess what, that’s a rather tall order.  Arsenal haven’t replaced Viera and have failed because of it. Liverpool haven’t replaced Alonso and have failed because of it.  Tottenham haven’t replaced an intestinal tract that can handle spoiled food and have failed because of it.  United have won seven major trophies since Keane departed (by the way, full disclosure, when I was younger I thought Roy and Robbie were brothers, it’s always been Robbie Keane’s boyhood dream to be Roy Keane’s brother).  Ferguson is one of the best managers of all time and consistently has built his squad back up as he sees fit, and it works.

Well, usually.

Now as for the players.  I don’t respect Rooney, but he’s not meant to be respected anyway.  But I respect the hell out of Ryan Giggs (chest-hair brothers, you know?) and some of the others.  It was farcical that he won PotY a few seasons back and it was seen as a career achievement award, but I’m not sure if anyone really would have predicted he would have upped his game after that. And he has.  Call me a sucker but I enjoy watching a 37 year old dominate at times, especially when it seems more and more players start their decline before they even hit 30. I hate the guy because I’m contractually obligated to, but at the same time, the guy is one of the best and is going to go down as one of if not the most successful club player of all time.  Now Giggs’s evergreen feel-good story is a bit cancelled out by the presence of cheats like Nani and moping-mittened-mercenaries like Berbatov, so this is a bit of a battle in my mind for sure. But each team has at least one guy who is unlikeable these days, United just happen to lead the league in that category as well so bravo to them I suppose.  At the same time you have guys like Park who do not get the recognition but are absolutely essential to winning clubs.  He doesn’t play as much as he would at nearly any other club, but when he does he almost always makes an impact.  Again, not sure why this makes me like him, but it does.

The bottom line here is that while I detest United, I cannot help but respect them overall.  Sure their ownership situation is a mess and I’m really hoping it ends up destroying them like it did Leeds and almost did Liverpool, and their supporters get an absolute free pass from the media for the endless “without killing anyone” Heysel chants, but I’m not hoping to see Giggs lift the trophy for the supporters or the Glazers.  The supporters can sit and spin as far as I am concerned, and I know they feel the same in the reverse.  But I cannot help but respect some of the veteran players United are still trotting out when the rest of the league is skewing younger, I cannot help but respect Ferguson’s ludicrous list of accomplishments … which brings me to …

Reason Two: Because It’s Not Chelsea or Arsenal 

Lovechild of an AFC player & The Bridge attendee.

I’ve been talking a lot about respect (clearly I should be running the FA) so I’ve got a revelation for you: I do not respect Arsene Wenger these days and  I don’t respect Chelsea as a club, a staff, a record label, or a crew.  If I have to choose between the three, I’m going to have to go with United right now. I know I’ll be ostracized by the community of LFC supporters that always retweet the most asinine transfer rumors ever on a bi-hourly basis, but right now I honestly see United as the lesser of three evils.  Mind you, I really want to see City win it just to watch SAF’s head explode Scanners-style while complaining about them buying a title, but that’s not going to happen (incompetent managers winning EPL titles back to back seasons was a pipe dream I suppose).

First Arsenal.  Frankly, and I’ve said it before, I’m sick of being lectured about “playing the right way.”  Playing the right way means winning.  If you have not read Brilliant Orange, I suggest you do, but I also suggest you do in with an open mind that you are going to be reading a LOT of quotes from people who think winning is secondary to beauty.  To me, the concept that there is some morally superior way to play (within the rules that is, I don’t mean that going out to kick the hell out of people is gravy) is laughable.  You go out to get the result.  Now maybe it’s because I’ve actually seen my club win multiple European trophies, I’m not sure, but I would not for the life of me trade Arsenal’s “Champions League Winning” performances against Barcelona the last two years for Liverpool’s second leg win against Chelsea in 2005 which to me is one of the finest strangle jobs I’ve ever seen.    Had Arsenal somehow backed into the title this year this attitude would have only continued when in reality their “playing the right way” model of late is outlined on a white-board in the breakroom of the Coca Cola bottling factory three miles from where I sit right now.  Just because you’re weak in central midfield doesn’t mean you get to preach to us who can’t ping the ball around but happen to be able to fail to get a shot on net just as well.

But then there’s Wenger.  I don’t think I could really say anything about him that hasn’t been said in the lovely FJM-style pieces on here.  But the last straw was his brushing off of Dalglish, whose response was possibly one of the greatest things I’ve seen this calendar year (again, someone try and tell me the game isn’t in him any more), he’s just turned into a massive baby on all fronts and the act is tired. Now I’m not going to go as far as Jamie “Edin Dzeko is a guaranteed success and Luis Suarez is a questionable signing” Trecker and say he should be sacked, that’s crazy, for now.  He is an undeniable managerial talent.  But someone needs to sit him down and tell him to suck it up and buy his squad some stones.  I feel for Arsenal supporters, because really, they should have won the league this year and had he ponied up for two players, they would most likely not be out of it going into this weekend.   It’s not that I dislike Arsenal, it’s just that there’s nothing to back up their talk (if you’re sensing hypocrisy from me here, hold on a bit).  I will be really interested to see what they do this summer but if they don’t bring in an enforcer and a real goalkeeper (oh yeah I also don’t want them to win so that Reina can’t justify a move there as a chance to win trophies as easily), well then enjoy your financial solvency and third place finish in 2012.  You shouldn’t play to dazzle, you should play to win the game, and if you dazzle along the way that’s golden but beating Orient and Blackpool doth not a high-ground make.  Call me crazy, but I don’t want to see Wenger rewarded for failing to do what is now and was then so blatantly obviously needed.   There’s no reason that Arsenal shouldn’t be challenging legitimately for trophies with their ability to find youth and their financial situation, and I actually think it would be better for the league if they were. And would it kill you to bring back JVC as the shirt sponsor?

As for Chelsea.  Well I’m just going to bullet point these guys, because I feel I needed to actually justify not wanting Arsenal to win it.

• Fired the only manager to get them to a CL Final, and let’s be honest, probably would have even had John Terry not choked worse than Jabba on his barge.
• Plastic flags.
• Fernando Torres and Yossi Benayoun (hating Owen is so passé)
• Harry Harris.
• This picture:

I mean I can see supporters wanting to see Arsenal win it over United, absolutely, but Chelsea?  Come on.  Last year, I get it, but since then, things have changed.  The argument can be made for or against Chelsea based on the fact that they and LFC are really not big rivals right now and that string of Champions League ties is long in the past …. but here’s the thing …

Reason Three: It’s Time for LFC to Move On

LOTS of image results for "dejected Liverpool."

This, to me, is the biggest reason.  The other two were nice and gave me a chance to rant a bit sure, but this is the one.  We need to move on past the number eighteen.  We’ve been sitting on eighteen titles since I was in the early days of grade school.  Until 2009 Liverpool had the title of most successful club in English football.  That is to say, most league titles, FA Cups, and League Cups.  We are still even on the league, but with United’s League Cup victory on top of their last league title they moved to 33 total, with LFC on 32.  So we’ve already seen that ship sale.

But as far as the league, we need to stop kidding ourselves.  Yes United had a paltry league success rate before Ferguson, but they’ve absolutely dominated ever since.  Now there were obviously many different factors that kept this dominance alive, but all that matters is it has taken hold.  Five years ago the record of eighteen seemed relatively safe. Sure United may get a few more but it was further down the road, and once we got new owners, we were right on the way back up! In reality, we’ve fallen back and United took their chance.  Now we’re joint on eighteen (and I’m ignoring the ridiculous “you haven’t won the actual EPL” jackassery), and let’s be blunt here, United are a lot more likely to win a title before Liverpool.  Even though Liverpool’s prospects are CLR-applied-to-moldy-headlights brighter now than they were seven months ago, it’s still a rebuilding process.

Now it COULD happen next year.  Few saw Liverpool going from second to out of Europe in a short span, so crazier things have happened but I’m thinking mainly in terms that the squad still needs major changes and that means time to gel. I expect them to be a lot higher up next year, but I’m not predicting them to win the league like I did this year (look for my preview in August when I predict Liverpool will win the league!).   But the past two years there has been a sense of waiting for the shoe to drop, waiting for United to finally overtake us.  But my point here is: they overtook us a while ago.  At this point, Liverpool holding on to that eighteenth title with a death grip is akin to me still buying new Rolling Stones albums based on the fact that I love the ones that came out before I was born.   Great things were accomplished, but we’ve been passed over.

Awful.

What is different between Liverpool and Mick Jagger is that Liverpool have a response in them. And as long as we are sitting even with United, there will be the slightest bit of feeling that if we don’t win a title, it’s okay as long as United do not win one either.  The obsession with holding on to eighteen (which frankly I’m not even sure how that makes sense) needs to be channeled into creating our own era of dominance.  Maybe I’m a sucker for the underdog and the comeback story, maybe I play Civilization far too often and realize when I need to let someone take one of my cities so that I can come back stronger and wipe them from the face of the digital earth while they’re struggling to adjust to the crown. But to me, it would almost be sweeter for United to take the lead and have Dalglish lead us back to the top.

Maybe it’s too poetic.  But to me, if I have to choose between Chelsea winning it this year then next year being another fretful year of “will they overtake us” talk, or United winning it this year and King Kenny leading the club back to knock United and Fergie off their f*****g perch, I’m taking the latter.  All credit to Ferguson and United, the past two decades have been theirs, and whether they win this title or not will not change the fact that they have sprinted past Liverpool in that time.  And maybe I loathe their support just enough that I want to see them get the crown, and then watch their faces as we take it back.

So there we have it.  United and Arsenal this weekend. I have to back United. I regret nothing.

Just like Robotic Frank Lampard apologizes for nothing.