Every once in awhile, we here at “Avoiding the Drop” like to branch out into areas off the pitch that we don’t usually cover. We’re not just about the soccer here, after all; we’ve explored the complicated relationships between star players and their manager’s families, explored the troubled romantic lives of Belgian internationals, and even gotten into the etiquette of who should and shouldn’t be invited to your wedding. We’re not Renaissance men, but we’re not totally uncultured, either.
And so when I saw this article in The Sun about the birthday cake that was made for Jenny Thompson – best known amongst football fans as “that girl that Wayne Rooney hired for sex at €1,200 a pop while his wife was pregnant” – I just knew that we really had to take a break from soccer to show off this masterpiece of baking to all of you Ace of Cake fans out there.
Said Thompson’s friends about her reaction to the cake:
“Her face was a picture when she saw the cake. She couldn’t stop laughing. It was the highlight of the night and Jenny thought it was hilarious. It probably brought back a few memories.
“It’s a shame there were no footballers at the party – that would have been the icing on the cake. But Jen had a great night. She looked amazing in a low-cut dress and had dyed her hair red for the occasion.”
Technically, of course, the icing on the cake should have been the actual icing; that Shrek head is made out of marzipan, an almond-sugar paste that can be very difficult to work with. The problem with marzipan is mainly that it’s known for hardening rather quickly, at which point it becomes unworkable (although, according to some confectioners, it can be softened again by leaving it overnight in a ziplock bag between two pieces of bread).
And while we’re on the subject of quickly hardening, Wayne Rooney’s not the only footballer linked to Thompson lately. Apparently Everton midfielder Jack Rodwell also contacted Thompson to…ah…procure her services, only to later get cold feet and opt for phone sex instead. Thompson’s initial reply to Rodwell’s contact (according to the very NSFW source article, which includes the photos she sent to the Evertonian):
“Hope ur beta than rooney hah.”
Hah. I dunno.. as a footballer you’d think Jack and Rooney could do better (well.. for the money at least).
btw you guys should have a little running piece about when footballers fuck up or make arses out of themselves.. call it “avoiding the derp”
HAHAHAAA fantastic. I’m not sure what’s better, the idea or the pun.
The “ladies” that famous athletes and actors get caught with always amaze me. I wouldn’t go so far as to say “minging” in this case, but I always think that if I was a famous footballer I’d be doing way better for myself – especially if I was paying for the privilege.