Avoiding the Drop

What you missed while Fulham was enjoying the best night their club has ever had on the European stage…

• Europa League roundup (teams in bold advance to the quarterfinals): Fulham 4-1 Juventus, Werder Bremen 4-4 Valencia, Marseille 1-2 Benfica, Standard Liege 1-0 Panathinaikos, Liverpool 3-0 Lille, Sporting 2-2 Atletico Madrid, Anderlect 4-3 Hamburg, Wolfsburg 2-1 Rubin Kazan.
• Fulham overcame a 3-1 loss on the road and Juventus scoring an away goal in the second minute to advance to the quarterfinals; Clint Dempsey’s lobbed strike (above) clinched the game for them after Juventus had two players sent off.
• Fulham manager Roy Hodgson: “We might as well retire now; it is not going to get better than this.”
• David Villa’s hat trick pushed Valencia over Werder Bremen on away goals.
• Bayern Munich manager Louis van Gaal would like to coach the English national team someday.
• Manchester United fans will able to have their Park Ji-Sung and drink him too; the South Korean midfielder will have a whiskey named after him to celebrate/mourn the World Cup.
• Galatasaray are planning on giving Arsenal a run for their money when it comes to signing CFR Cluj striker Lacina Traore.
• Arsene Wenger is now describing William Gallas’ hamstring injury as “endless”.
• Liverpool winger Albert Riera has been suspended by the club for calling the club a sinking ship; this will be a big change for Riera, who’s used to…oh, not playing. Nevermind.
• Owen Hargreaves is hoping to make England’s World Cup squad. In related news, I’m hoping to fly someday.
• Rapper Sean “P. Diddy” Combs is interested in buying Crystal Palace. Plans to rename the London club “Cristal Palace” are as yet unconfirmed.