Avoiding the Drop

“Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is like supporting both the Israelis and the Palestinians.” – Rob Gordon

Tomorrow is a pretty big day for both the red and blue halves of Liverpool. It’s the day when, after losing 2-0 at Goodison, Everton travels the long 794 meters between the two stadiums for the Anfield leg of the Merseyside Derby.

Everton hasn’t won this leg of the derby since 1999, although this season feels like it could be different. Unfortunately for the red half of the city, this hasn’t exactly been a banner year. It’s not been great for Everton either, of course, but they haven’t lost since November; as injuries have healed and new players have come in, they’ve started to look ready to turn the corner.

I want Liverpool to win this game, obviously; I want them to win every game they play. But I have to be honest about something: I really just can’t hate Everton.

Now I know that that’s not necessarily the “right” emotion to feel here. This is, after all, a rivalry. It’s a pretty one-dimensional thing; there’s no crossing over. The fact of the matter is, however,  that this is a regional rivalry; I recognize that this factor complicates matters on the pitch, but it’s hard to get particularly worked up over the match when you’re an ocean away and have never been to England in the first place. Because of the geographic space, I’m exempted from certain things:

• Most people I interact with on a day-to-day basis don’t even know which team I support, let alone which club is their rival or when they play. It’s like telling a metal fan that you’re into folk music; sure, they respect your decision, but they’re not going to understand the difference between pre-Newbury Folk Festival Dylan and “Highway 61 Revisited” Dylan. It’s all just “Dylan”. And don’t even get started on that jazz-fusion Joni Mitchell stuff.
• My pre-match gauntlet doesn’t consist of being heckled by opposing fans but of rescheduling television time away from my four and six year old daughters; I’ll have more problems with “The Imagination Movers” tomorrow morning than I’ll likely ever have with  Everton fans.
• Should Everton win tomorrow, I could still get decked out in Liverpool garb and blast “You’ll Never Walk Alone” through my open car windows; 85% of the people I meet won’t even know what the hell I’m doing. Hell, more people would recognize that as the song from “Carousel” than from the inscription on the Shankley Gates.

My apathy towards the rivalry with Everton actually got so bad that last season, when Everton’s kit was on clearance, I considered buying one. In fact, I probably WOULD have bought one if they’d had any in my size (in my defense, it was a really good sale and last year’s Everton kit was way cooler than this year’s; what’s up with the white “cleavage” thing?).

Part of my problem is patriotic. As an American I feel a certain obligation to support the relatively few Americans playing in leagues abroad. I’ve liked Tim Howard since his Manchester United (edited; thanks, Fuse!) days when he did a “60 Minutes” piece on his Tourette’s syndrome (this was well before I’d even followed the sport); he talked about being able to walk around in his hometown in the offseason almost completely anonymously, which was pretty cool. And with Landon Donovan deciding to join the Toffees, Everton matches have become important to watch for scouting purposes (in case, you know, Bob Bradley calls me or something). They’re toying with my national pride; I really want Liverpool to win, but I also kind of want Landon and Tim to have good games. We don’t have many successful Americans; we need to support what we have.

There are other things I can’t quite hate about Everton. For example, let’s look at their debt; according to The Guardian, Everton’s debt is about £39 million, with £3.9 million a year in loan payments. Compare that to Liverpool’s debt: £289 million, with loan payments of £21 million. In otherwards, Liverpool’s yearly loan payments are half of Everton’s total debt…and yet, Everton still manages to finish in the top five. It’s no secret that David Moyes is a good manager, but it’s worth mentioning again that he’s very nearly in the Champions League year after year with a fraction of the money to spend. That’s the kind of story I can get behind; it screams of “Moneyball” and good management and, generally speaking, is what makes sports fun. The richest teams winning all the time really isn’t anywhere near as interesting as a well-run team like Aston Villa or Everton nicking three points from their richer cousins in an away rivalry match. I’d imagine most people who don’t have a rooting interest in tomorrow’s game will be rooting for Everton for that reason.

Which brings me to my next point: how can a Liverpool fan hate any team besides Liverpool this season? They’ve been abject all year; if they lose tomorrow, it’ll probably be because Steven Gerrard looks confused, our back four is leaky, and our midfield lacks creativity. If our midfield lacks creativity, it’s because Benitez doesn’t play creative players; Aquilani should be starting ahead of Lucas in every single game at this point, and if that means moving Gerrard back to play next to Mascherano than so be it. Benitez hates creative players, but the workhorses he puts out don’t have any edge to them; Everton, on the other hand, are all about edge, and have been playing some good football lately. Liverpool can play that way on their best days, but they don’t do it consistently; we’re long past the point where they can coast on talent alone, but someone seems to have forgotten to tell the players. Bottom line, I don’t really have the time to get worked up about Tim Cahill; I’m too irritated with my own team.

So tomorrow, I’m hoping for a good game. I’m hoping Liverpool beat Everton comfortably, and that they can start to put some of the drama surrounding their season behind them. I’m hoping for a good match, too, that sees Landon Donovan really torment Emiliano Insua and has Tim Howard making good saves and commanding his area well. I’m hoping nobody gets hurt and that both teams come through this intact and can move on.

And I’m also hoping both of them kick the crap out of Manchester United later this season.