Avoiding the Drop

K.F. Tirana v. K.S. Dinamo Tirana (Friday)

That’s right, the Tirana Derby kicks off our weekend!! Unfortunately, this match is probably not going to be as competitive as one might like. Dinamo are in first place in the Kategoria Superiore, a dozen points ahead of second place Besa Kavaje, and K.F. Tirana are a further point back in third place. Another factor in Dinamo’s favor is that they have the two top scorers in the league while Tirana’s most prolific striker is currently fifteenth! Luckily for Tirana, a third place finish would be enough to get them into the Europa League. Fun Fact: Both clubs in this derby have a player named “Elvis” on their roster. Fun Fact 2: It is a travesty that Dinamo’s striker Fatjon Sefa has not been capped by Albania at any level. It is also a tragedy that his name is “Fat- Jon.”

Everton F.C. v. Birmingham F.C. (Saturday)

This F.A. Cup will feature perhaps the two most successful active Scottish managers not named “Ferguson,” David Moyes at Everton and Big Eck at Birmingham, and it could be a very good match. Both clubs have been in good league form lately- both clubs are undefeated in their last five matches- and Birmingham still have a shot at claiming a European place if they continue to pile up points the way they have recently. Everton might not make it into Europe, but if Liverpool continue their fall from grace, the Toffees might fancy themselves the best team from Merseyside when the EPL winds up its season this spring. A long cup run (they’ve never won it) could also do a lot for City’s future by bringing in the kind of revenue that might allow them to sign a “name player” in the close season.

West Bromwich Albion F.C. v. Newcastle F.C. (Saturday)

This might be an F.A. Cup match, but it’s going to have a little extra spice given that it pits two of the top three teams in the Championship against each other. Despite a recent dip in form (they’ve drawn four of their last five matches) Newcastle are in first place and hold a game in hand over second place Nottingham Forest (who have won four of their last five matches), while the Baggies will hope to improve on their inconsistent performances as of late (2-2-1 in their last five matches). The question is, will both sides field full-strength teams in the hope of making the next round, or will the pull back a little in the hope of keeping their best players fresh for the stretch run in the league? Fun Fact: Newcastle haven’t won the Cup in over 50 years- it’s been over 40 years since the Baggies won it.

Ross County F.C. v. Ayr United F.C. (Saturday)

With Cup matches (and league postponements) being the order of the day lately, this weekend finds County still on 32 points, tied with three other teams, but the last of that group due to a lower goal differential. The the good news is that due to all of the postponements they have two games in hand over third place Partick Thistle and three games in hand over league leaders Dundee. The better news is that they have a four point lead and a game in hand over arch-rivals Inverness Caledonian Thistle. The best news is that they are 20 points above the relegation zone. Their opponents, the Honest Men, are in the relegation playoff spot at the moment. Fun Fact: The Staggies need only to resign goalkeeper Michael McGovern to return all their important players for 2010-2011.

Bellshill Athletic F.C. v. Beith Juniors F.C. (Saturday)

How far down will I go to find you a match? This far. Welcome to the Stagecoach West of Scotland League Premier Division- that’s right, “junior football” in Scotland. This match features first place Beith and second to last place Bellshill. Unlike most junior sides, Beith were actually a senior (SFL) side at one point…about 70 years ago! Bellshill have only one win this season, but they did win the Blantyre Charity Trophy in 2008, so that was nice for them. This match will probably not be televised. Fun Fact: It only costs £80 to sponsor a Bellshill player for the season. Fun Fact 2: Bellshill is the birthplace of managerial legend Sir Matt Busby, “Super Ally” McCoist, 1980′s pop-star Sheena Easton, alt-rockers Teenage Fanclub, and, as I have pointed on a previous occasion, my Gram.

CE Principat Andorra v. UE Santa Coloma (Saturday)

FINALLY, the winter break in the Andorran Primera Divisio is over! This match features the newly promoted Principat and Santa Coloma, who finished in fifth place last year. How “international” is this league? As recently as 2008 Santa Coloma’s roster included two Spaniards, six Argentines, a Frenchman, and a Brazilian. Perhaps Andorra’s status as a tax haven has something to do with this? Then again, I have it on good authority that many Andorran clubs operate on as little as $5000-7500 per season. Fun Fact: The eight teams in the Andorran league all share the same two stadiums- Estadi Comunal d’Aixovall and Estadi Comunal d’Andorra la Vella. Fun Fact 2: Principat have participated in the UEFA Cup on three occasions, scoring one goal and conceding…wait for it…49.

Stevenage Borough v. Kettering Town (Saturday)

The National Conference- also known as the “Blue Square Premier League”- is a mess at the moment due to the weather-related postponements it has suffered in the last month- some teams have played six more matches than others. As a result, any team in the top ten could top the table when all is said and done. That includes the Poppies of Kettering who are currently in fifth place and “The Boro” who are in first, but have played more games than all but one of the teams chasing them. Fun Fact: Stevenage’s “Centre of Excellence” manager Luther Blissett may be the only player who was ever transferred from Watford to A.C. Milan. Fun Fact 2: Stevenage’s “Centre of Excellence” manager Luther Blissett may also be the only player who was ever transferred back from A.C. Milan to Watford.

F.C. Internazionale Milano v. A.C. Milan (Sunday)

This incarnation of the Derby della Madonnina finds things tightening up at the top of the Serie A table. Inter- led by The Special One- are still on top and have a six point lead over Milan, but Milan has a game in hand. So, a win for the “Fighting Beckhams of the San Siro” and the gap could narrow to three points with plenty of time left for things to get even tighter, especially as it appears that Milan will have the easier schedule over the next month or so. Fun Fact: The general consensus is that The Gooch will return to the training pitch in Milan within the next month and should be able to get a few games under his belt- assuming Leonardo picks him- before the World Cup. Fun Fact 2: I’ll laugh myself stupid(er) if Fabio doesn’t put Soccer Spice on his World Cup roster.

L’Olympique de Saumer F.C. v. Stade de Rennais F.C. (Saturday)

If there’s any match in this round of the Coupe de France it’s this one between Ligue 1 Rennes and fifth division amateurs Olympique. Not because I expect Rennes to lose, but because if they did…well, you get the point. Rennes are currently a very respectable “mid-table” spot in France’s top tier, while Olympique are in the Championnat de France Amateurs 2 (Group G)- they are in the bottom half of the table, but not really in any danger of relegation. Fun Fact: Les Rouges et Noirs have won the Cup twice, Saumer have won the slightly less-prestigious Coupe de Atlantique. Fun Fact 2: When visiting Saumer please take the time to visit the tank (the military kind!) museum (Le musee des blindes).

C.A. Penarol v. Montevideo Wanderers F.C. (Sunday)

There was once a time when both the Uruguayan National team and the top club teams in Uruguay were among the best in the world, but that time was long, long ago. Now, save for the occasional individual payer, not much is heard in the wider footballing world from the country or any of its teams. Still, as long ago as the “Glory Days” were, Penarol, for example, was so good for so long that they still top CONMEBOL’s all-time club ranking ahead of teams like River Plate, Sao Paulo, and Boca Juniors. Fun Fact: Penarol’s Gerardo Alcoba has played for both teams in this match. Fun Fact 2: The Montevideo club took its name from England’s Wolverhampton Wanderers and wear kits that pay homage to Argentina’s C.A. Estudiantes.

C.F. Universidad de Chile v. C.D. Cobresal (Sunday)

Chile’s Primera Division del Futbol kicks off this weekend as last year’s champions, Universidad de Chile face Cobresal, who finished 15^th in the 18 team league. Historically speaking Universidad are the second most successful team in Chile with 13 championships to their credit (far behind Colo Colo’s 29!), while Cobresal have never won the league- though in their defense, they were only founded 30 years ago. Fun Fact: Cobresal’s club crest contains three elements- a miner’s helmet, a soccer ball, and the symbol of Venus (or the gender symbol for “woman”). Fun Fact 2: Universidad have five nicknames: The U, The Owls, The Noise, The Lion, and, um, The Romantic Traveler. Cobresal have only one nickname, “The Table Miners.” Google translation was no help on that one.