Avoiding the Drop

What you missed while perusing the sixteen best imaginary guns of all time…

• David Gold and David Sullivan have completed their takeover of West Ham, and they bring with them a seven year plan to get into the Champions League.
• The Algerian and Angolan national teams deny that their scoreless draw was the result of collusion, even though the result guaranteed that both teams would advance to the quarterfinals of the African Cup of Nations. Mali, who would’ve gone through had either team won, thinks otherwise.
• Transfer rumor roundup: Kenwyne Jones is not on his way to Liverpool and Philippe Senderos would love to be loaned to Celtic.
• Hannover 96 have sacked manager Andreas Bergmann after three straight losses; Bergmann was appointed earlier this season.
• Olympiakos, taking a page from Hannover 96′s playbook, have sacked manager Zico after only four months on the job. In other news, nobody knows whether “Olympiakos” is spelled with a “c” or a “k”.
• Zlatan Ibrahimovic was named the Italian player’s assocation Player of the Season award in spite of the fact that he now plays in Spain.
• Manchester City striker Roque Santa Cruz has been ruled out for a month with a calf injury.
• Burnley’s Bolton’s (thanks, Dave!) Owen Coyle has ruled out signing Real Madrid’s Guti.
• Brazilian striker Vagner Love, formerly of CSKA Moscow, has joined Flamengo on loan.