What you missed while fifty Portuguese man-of-war (men-of-war? man-of-wars?) were invading Hawaii…
- Heavy snow has delayed today’s Carling Cup match between Aston Villa and Blackburn; tomorrow’s Manchester City-Manchester United match may also be bumped back.
- Fabio Capello will face six weeks on the sidelines after undergoing knee surgery.
- Fulham manager Roy Hodgson is bracing himself for a bidding war over striker Bobby Zamora.
- According to his agent, Nemanja Vidic probably won’t be leaving Manchester United for Real Madrid (just like Cristiano Ronaldo wasn’t leaving Manchester United for Real Madrid this time last season).
- Arsenal midfielder Tomas Rosicky, who missed 20 months with injury, has signed a contract extension.
- Former cricketer George Boycott thinks that Michael Owen should try feng shui if he really wants to improve his form.
- Manchester City, who just can’t get enough of former Arsenal players, are probably going to buy Patrick Vieira from Inter.
- Klaas-Jan Huntelaar won’t be continuing his world tour of top flight benches at Arsenal.
- Stoke City manager Tony Pulis is totally gonna headbutt a striker if they don’t start scoring soon.
- Goran Pandev is probably going to start for Inter Milan when they play Chievo tomorrow.
- Didier Drogba scored the only goal in Ivory Coast’s 1-0 friendly win over Tanzania yesterday.
- Bayern Munich may be looking to sell Franck Ribéry (possibly because that toenail drilling story from yesterday is seriously grossing them out).
Not to toot our own horns or anything, but if you do a Google search for “killer jellyfish”, we’re on the first page. We’re also ranked above the IMDB entry for a movie actually called “Killer Jellyfish”. This is really, really exciting for me.
Congratulations on the Killer Jellyfish search. You’ve earned it. The Manchester United-Manchester Arabia match has been postponed.
Do we get to kick Pompey a little more today? Please? I’ve been good.
Christmas was two weeks ago, mate. But I’m sure the businessmen with no business sense on the South Coast will come up with something, like the FA holding their TV money to pay off the three-or-so Premier League clubs that they are indebted to.