Every year I force myself to sit down and watch the NCAA Men’s Division I “College Cup” final.* I say “force” because I hate the men’s collegiate game at the D-I level. I find that “big time” men’s college soccer lacks all of the things that I love about the Beautiful Game- technical ability, creativity, intelligence. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate a hard, well-timed tackle or a counter-attacking team that grinds out results, but I especially like players who get by- or even excel- based on their hustle, will, and passion for the game even if their technical or athletic ability might be lacking. The players at this level are not without talent and the best of them will show just how much they have as they become professionals domestically or internationally, but there’s a problem.
The men’s game at this level might as well be played with a laced ball, goals made of wood, and players wearing actual studded boots. All movement is done at a sprint- I don’t think any player at this level has ever “floated” or “ghosted” into position. The aim of every tackle is not to win the ball, but to win the ball and inflict as much physical harm on the opponent as possible without being cautioned. The players complain about each and every call- it’s like watching an endless loop of Paul O’Neill complaining about balls and strikes. Finally, with a few exceptions, there seem to be eleven “I’s” in every “team.” That’s probably unfair to the goalkeepers and defenders, but sometimes the blinding rage I feel each time a player decides the best thing to do is not to pass, but to dribble into pressure causes me to generalize. I think I know why this is the case.
I think I know the reason that these problems plague what should be the best non-professional soccer our country has to offer. The reason is simple: the only bigger jackasses than male Division I soccer players are male high school lacrosse players. Again, I apologize if my rage is causing me to make sweeping generalizations- no matter how accurate they may be. These teams seem to be made up of players- at least those born and bred in the USA- who were raised in the suburbs, who think “formal attire” means wearing a tie and putting on their “good” flip-flops, and who drive around campus playing Dave Matthews (Jack Johnson, Jason Mraz…you get the idea) at full volume. Case in point, UVA’s starting sophomore defender, Hunter Jumper- seriously, that’s his name, no “nickname” involved.
Those reading this post had one of two reactions to that last sentence. You either thought, “Yeah, what’s wrong with that name?” or “Why did Stan and Judy** do that to him?!” I actually had to go to the UVA athletics website to confirm that I wasn’t mishearing JPD every time he mentioned Jumper’s name, because the first few times I heard it I thought, “No, that can’t be what he said.” Why all the fuss? Well, because a “hunter jumper” is a kind of horse, one that, well, hunts and jumps. This beyond pretentious and akin to having the last name “Tucket” and naming your daughter “Nan,” or having the last name “Collar” and naming your son “Popped.” For the record, young Mr. Jumper is the product of a private day school in suburban Dallas. Also, he played well in the final, probably UVA’s best defender on the day. Well, enough of my very special brand of judgmental socialism, on to other topics raised by the College Cup- starting with who won, and how!
- Inevitably, the match went to penalty kicks- is it a rule now that all finals in all competitions must do this?- and it was UVA that won its sixth championship. I kind of felt for Akron- their only “non-win” this year was the draw in the semi-finals of the tournament (they won on penalty kicks) and it would have been the school’s first national championship in any sport. They can take heart in the fact that they only started one senior and three juniors in the finals.
- Why it always pays to read something twice- it turns out that UVA defender Ole Hengelbrock is from Hilter, Germany, not Hitler, Germany!
- Akron’s Teal Bunbury is the son of former longtime Martimo (Portugal) standout and Canadian international Alex Bunbury.
- Of the last 18 men’s College Cups half have been played in North Carolina, including three of the last five at WakeMed Soccer park in Cary. I realize that there are several colleges and universities in North Carolina that have strong soccer traditions, but how about spreading things around a little? A full-size pitch and seating for 5,000-7,000 spectators seem to be the only criteria- well, that and the chance of good weather.
- Akron’s Zarek Valentin is the younger brother of the L.A. Galaxy’s Julian Valentin. In the last two years, however, Julian has played exactly 54 more minutes for the Galaxy than I have. All kidding aside, I believe this is the case because he played most of the 2008 season in MLS’ now-defunct reserve league and he has been playing for the U-23 USMNT in 2009.
- Akron’s Darlington Nagbe is the son of Joe Thunder Armstrong Nagbe (no nicknames involved here either!) who played in the top division in France (Monaco and Nice) and Greece (PAOK Thessaloniki, Panionios, and PAS Giannina) while captaining the Liberian National Team. It will also come as no surprise that “Thunder Armstrong” also played for three Liberian teams when he was staring his career, Young Survivors, Invincible Eleven, and Mighty Barolle. I’m beginning to sense something about Liberia…
- It says something- I’ll leave it up to you to decide “what”- about MLS and/or NCAA Division I Men’s soccer that only one player (Ross LaBauex of UVA) has been invited to the league’s “2020 Adidas Draft Combine” in January.
Wow, was this the site’s first post dedicated solely to college soccer?
*I usually watch- and enjoy- the women’s final each year but I was not able to this year.
**Thank you, UVA website!
The sprinting thing you’re talking about is almost definitely a direct result of the “unlimited substitutions” the NCAA has put in place (they’ve also got stupid rules about WHEN you can sub; it’s not every stoppage like in real soccer). There’s no reason to save energy for the second half, which eliminates the tactical necessity to not run all out in the first half. Teams can run full sprint for twenty minutes, sub out their winded players, and then reuse those same winded players in the second half.
I agree, but I believe that the women’s game has the same substitution rules and it produces a watchable product…
Whether it’s because of the coaching, the specific physical skills, or just the mindset of female athletes, the women’s game seems to gravitate towards a more possession based passing game at all levels; it’s just a different game. I agree, women’s soccer at this level is pretty watchable in comparison to the men, and I think it’s because they’re focused as much on passing as on the physical element of the game; they’re “thinking it out”, so to speak.
It’s interesting to compare the relative success of the U.S. men’s and women’s teams to the watchability of their college equivalents, especially since the college equivalent is essentially our youth development program. The men are known to exhibit all of the traits you’ve outlined (hard runners, fast, lacking technical and game awareness, somewhat quick to foul); the women, meanwhile, are known for being good at all of those things.
Interesting, because I actually enjoy the UNLV games. They do gripe about a lot of calls, but UNLV and most of the teams they play have a pretty good passing game. Although I think that UNLV does rely a little too much on the quick counter attack, but hey my coaching experience stops at 4 v. 4 U-9!
As for the combine question, I know that there have been at least two UNLV players over the last couple years who were directly “drafted/hired” by MLS teams: Danny Cruz to Houston thru “Generation Adidas” and Lamar Neagle to Seattle as a Senior Development Player.
Perhaps the only players invited to combine are those who still have “something to prove” and the rest already have contracts with teams. I don’t if there is a way to find that information out or not, but it might be interesting.
Apropos of the lack of technical skills and the shootout that seemed inevitable from the start…it does seem that, at this level of US collegiate soccer, the defense is going to dominate. Just look at Akron and UVA’s d-stats, Akron’s status as top scorer in the nation notwithstanding. The Zips did look better, technically, on the push, but it was hard to anticipate a score. (Although the constant highlight clips afforded by Espn2′s commercial breaks did seem to demonstrate more offensive chances than I could recall.) Shitty weather down here didn’t help, either.
That said, I enjoyed the game and look forward to following Akron more next year. When is ATD coming out with its promotional line of Teal Bunbury kilts? ‘T’would make for a fine present this holiday season.
I was watching the semi-final and noticed the “TV timeouts.” How do those work in college soccer?
I agree, I think under less pressure (big game) and with better weather, the Zips could be pleasing to the eye. I guess maybe I was disappointed that a team with UVA’s pedigree played such neanderthal-like soccer.
A Few Words on College Soccer and the College Cup:
It sucks balls.
I watched part of that god-awful game, and I said, out loud, at least twice, “if this is the future of American football, god help us we’ll lose to Andorra”.