Avoiding the Drop

Toronto F.C.  v.  New York Red Bulls (Saturday)

For the first time in their brief history, Toronto hold all of the cards. Win and they make the postseason for the first time ever- no matter what happens in any other match. A draw and they leave the door open for New England, Dallas, and D.C. United. A loss and they are, in all likelihood, out of the playoffs as it would take only a draw by any of those three teams or a win by Real Salt Lake to surpass their point total. The Red Bulls, well, they just want it all to be over. On the positive side, it will be “Fan Appreciation Night” at the Meadowlands, although I’m not sure if anything they do will be enough to make up for their ineptitude on the pitch this season. Also this week, sod being laid down at Red Bull Arena- look out world, here comes “Red Bull New Jersey!”

D.C. United v. Kansas City Wizards (Saturday)

The Wizards are done. The only question surrounding them in this last regular match of the 2009 season is whether they’ll show up and play for pride, or fold. There’s quite a bit more on the line for United. Basically, they have to win and hope that the results of the matches involving Toronto, New England, and Dallas all go their way. A draw won’t do because the best that could possibly do is tie them with Toronto and they would then lose on the first tie-breaker, “head-to-head” match-ups (they are 0-1-1 against the Reds). With this being the case, the only thing a loss would do is make a lot of other teams happy to have one less team to worry about as they try to sort out their own postseason plans. My prediction? The match is a draw and they don’t make the playoffs.

Colorado Rapids v. Real Salt Lake (Saturday)

A win for Colorado and they can sew up the 2009 Rocky Mountain Cup. A win for RSL and they could win the 2009 Rocky Mountain Cup based on the various tie-breakers. Oh, wait, nobody outside of these two metro areas cares!  In real news, Colorado actually has to win this match to eliminate any and all possibilities of being overtaken by one of the teams currently on 39 points (the Rapids have 40). Real Salt Lake still have the slimmest of chances of making the postseason. A win brings them to 40 points, but even if they do that and New England, Toronto, Colorado, and D.C. all finish with 40 points, they would still have to beat all of those teams on head-to-head match-ups and the likelihood of that happening is not good. If it was, RSL wouldn’t be in this position, now would they?

F.C. Dallas v. Seattle Sounders F.C. (Saturday)

This has the potential to be a thriller with Dallas’ top-scoring offense matching up against the third stingiest defense in MLS. Not only that, but the stakes are big for both clubs. The Sounders are already in the playoffs, but there is still a chance that they could win the Western Conference title in their inaugural season, so they certainly have something to play for this weekend. F.C. Dallas, who seem to be gaining momentum every week, must win (and hope for helpful results elsewhere) if they hope to have any chance to make the postseason. On an individual level, there will be several players in this match- especially Jeff Cunningham- who might have something to say about who should receive the league’s MVP award.

San Jose Earthquakes v. Los Angeles Galaxy (Saturday)

This is as close to a “who cares” match as there is this weekend. The Quakes are ready to go golfing. The Galaxy have clinched a playoff spot, but they could still win the Western Conference, a feat which nobody would have predicted at the All-Star break. Having covered that, let’s move on. I’m not going to say that Landon Donovan had anything less than a “very good” season, maybe it was “great,” I’ll even go so far as to say that his play has started to change my opinion of him… a little. However, if he wins the MVP award I may lose my temper. He should be in the running, sure, but Jeff Cunningham of F.C. Dallas not only has more goals (17 to 11) and more assists (8 to 6), but he single-handedly kept an unfashionable team in playoff contention and he did it without Soccer Spice. I’m just sayin’…

Ross County F.C. v. Partick Thistle F.C. (Saturday)

First place County return form a brief training trip to Spain (despite the gossip I was not the anonymous donor who paid for this!) to host third place Partick this weekend and they will need a victory to ensure that the remain in first place. A draw and they could be passed by second place Dundee. A loss and they could be passed by Dundee and Partick and tied (on points) by Queen of the South. That’s how tight things are in the SFL First Division at the moment. However, spirits seem to be relatively high on the RCFC message boards (the internet in Scotland apparently operates on a ten year time-delay) as the team have been in good form and are relatively healthy. Fun Fact: To get to the Staggies’ “tea room,” turn left at the reception desk, it’s the door on the right just before the locker room- watch the steps!

Aston Villa F.C. v. Wolverhampton Wanderers F.C. (Saturday)

Did you know there were “East Midlands Derbies?” Well, there are, and this is one of them. The two teams in this match are in similar situations, but at opposite ends of the EPL table. A strong start by Villa has them only one point out of a Europa League place and with a game in hand over the two teams immediately above them- Champions League football next year is not out of the question. Wolves conversely, are just one point above the relegation zone- a not uncommon predicament for newly promoted teams. Wolves biggest worry is probably that Portsmouth and Birmingham will probably spend big in the upcoming transfer season and that might make it even more difficult for the team to stay up. Unless chairman Steve Morgan have some money that I don’t know about.

New England Revolution v. Columbus Crew (Sunday)

If I were the nervous type there’s a chance that I could work my way through an oil drum full of Tums and wear a path in the carpet over the span of this match. The best case scenario will be that Chicago wins their mid-week match against Chivas guaranteeing the Crew the best record in the league, giving them absolutely no reason (are you listening Robert Warzycha?!) to field a competitive team on Sunday. The next step would be for Colorado, Toronto, D.C. United, and F.C. Dallas to all do something other than win on Saturday. That way, when New England takes the field against the Crew, all they have to do is win and get ready for their improbably playoff run and their much deserved victory (finally!) in MLS Cup on November 22. Easy, peasy, lemon, squeezy, right Two Yellows?

Houston Dynamo v. Chivas U.S.A. (Sunday)

Depending on what happens during the midweek match and what happens in other matches on Saturday, this match could be for the Western Conference Championship. That might not seem to mean much given that both sides have been certain of a playoff spot for a few weeks now, but it will bring the winner home field advantage, and given that the two teams have only lost three home games in total all season, that could be telling. Is it just me, or should this be Stuart Holden’s last season in MLS? He’s 24, he could probably get himself and EU passport without too much trouble (though he’s a USMNT player he was born in Scotland) and I would think there would be plenty of teams who would like to have a midfielder with some pace and who is good with the ball at his feet. Thoughts?

Liverpool F.C. v. Manchester United F.C. (Sunday)

Is this the biggest match thus far in the EPL season? Yes, but not for the reasons you might have expected when the season kicked off several months ago. Before the season began we all wondered which of the two teams would be at the top of the table at this point? Well, it’s Manchester United, nothing shocking there. What is shocking is that Liverpool are not challenging the Red Devils for the number one spot. Instead, they are struggling to stay in touch with the league’s European places, or, if you want to put a different spin on it, they are only one win above the bottom half of the table. Add to that a string of injuries and a floundering European campaign and this could be the season where, as the erudite Magnakai Haaskivi put it, everything falls apart. Or was it Hüsker Dü who said it?

AIK Fotball v. Hammarby IF (Sunday)

There’s nothing like a Stockholm Derby, is there? Winter is coming, but you’ve got a pocket full of lutefisk to snack on and an appropriately named sockerdricka to wash it down with. With only three matches left in the Allesvenskan season AIK are a point ahead of second place Göteborg, so they’ll want to win to keep their championship hopes alive. Hammarby, league champions as recently as 2001 are in 15th place in the 16 team league and in very serious danger of being relegated to the second division Superettan. Fun fact: With Charlie Davies’ transfer to Sochaux, you would be hard-pressed to name a player on either of these teams. That may be at least one of the reasons Sweden did not qualify for South Africa 2010.

Paris Saint-Germain F.C. v. Olympique de Marseille (Sunday)

Le clasico français- it’s about time, isn’t it? Unfortunately, neither team are setting Ligue 1 or Europe on fire this year. The reason for the latter of those failings is simple to explain- PSG finished 9^th last year in Ligue 1 and failed to qualify for Europe. This year they are again struggling to stay in the top half of the table. Marseille did make the Champions League, but they currently trail Real Madrid and A.C. Milan in Group C and appear unlikely to advance. If you have a chance to watch this match, you may want to so that you can see what’s become of old friends Gabriel Heinze and Claude Makelele. Fun Fact: PSG manager Antoine Kombouaré may be the only New Caledonian managing a football club outside of Melanesia.