Avoiding the Drop

New England Revolution v. New York Red Bulls (Friday)

The Revolution could not ask for a better way to get their playoff push back on track than to play one of the worst teams in the history of Major League Soccer. The Red Bulls, you see, are not good. Unfortunately for New England Wells Thompson and Edgaras Jankauskas are both suspended for his match. More importantly, however, Shalrie Joseph is back from his red card suspension Even with a win the Revs are likely to remain “out” of the playoffs for the week, but a win will at least keep them in the picture as they make up their games in hand on the other playoff clubs. New York are giving away Red Bull “beanies” (the stuffed toy, not the hat…I think) to the first five thousand fans, so expect to see some happy kids in Guatemala this Christmas when they unwrap the remaining 3500 toys.

Colorado Rapids v. San Jose Earthquakes (Friday)

With San Jose essentially out of the running (fine, fine, technically they can still make it) for a playoff spot, all the pressure in this match is on the Rapids who are currently in the playoffs, but barely so. A win and they stay in the picture. A draw and they probably stay in the picture. A loss and they risk being passed by as many as four other clubs if results go against them. For the Quakes things appear to be going from bad to worse. It was bad enough that they lost Darren Huckerby to season-ending hip surgery. It was worse that following his surgery he announced his retirement. The good news for San Jose? On Saturday they will be unveiling their plans for a new soccer-specific stadium near San Jose International Airport with the hope of moving into it for the 2012 season.

Chivas U.S.A. v. Seattle Sounders F.C. (Saturday)

This is probably this week’s marquee match-up in MLS. Both teams are currently in the playoffs and both are still in contention for the two automatic playoff spots in the Western Conference. Obviously, then, a win would be big for either club. A draw keeps Seattle in the playoffs- most likely- and drops Chivas out- most likely. The Sounders are still riding high at the moment with consecutive wins over D.C. United (the first of which won them their first trophy- the U.S. Open Cup, which will be officially presented to the fans before the match), while Chivas has been up and down since the All-Star break and need to get on a roll if they hope to wrap up a playoff spot before the very last week of the season. I see another Sounders victory to keep their debut successes going.

Real Salt Lake v. Houston Dynamo (Saturday)

A win and Houston could exit the weekend with the best record in all of MLS. A draw and they will remain in first place in the Western Conference on the basis of goal differential. A loss and they will only be a point out of first place in the conference. In my opinion that pretty much takes the pressure off them. They should be able to just lace ‘em up and get after it on Saturday afternoon. This is not the case for Real Salt Lake. They are currently two points out of the eighth playoff spot and they’ve played more matches than most of the teams they are competing with for that spot. If that weren’t enough of a mountain to climb, even if they win they might still be on the outside looking in if any number of results go against them.

F.C. Dallas v. Kansas City Wizards (Saturday)

Nothing can happen here that will have any impact on anything- ever, anywhere. Sure, both teams could still make the playoffs if they can run the table and every other result from now through the end of the season goes their way, but realistically, even the winner of this match (if there is one) would still be at least six points behind the worst teams currently in the playoffs. So, given the situations of both teams, why even show up to play this weekend? That’s a good question, and one for which I do not have a good answer. However, if MLS ever gets its act together and goes to a single table with promotion and relegation we won’t have to deal with awkward questions like this, will we? That’s a way off- if it ever happens- so this week they’ll play because people have already paid for the tickets.

Toronto F.C. v. Los Angeles Galaxy (Saturday)

The Galaxy should not have any problem finding a reason to get motivated for this match. They’ve clawed their way back after a horrendous start to the season, and should they win and Houston lose, they’ll be in first place and pretty much certain of making the playoffs no matter who does what for the rest of the season. Things are a little different for Toronto. Every time they seem to be just about to break through and establish themselves as a playoff-caliber team, they take a step backward. Since the All-Star break they are 2-2-1 and that pretty much says it all- not losing any ground on the playoff pack, but not making up any either. Should they win, they will at least remain in the mix for another week. A loss and it might be over for 2009.

RCD Mallorca v. CD Tenerife (Saturday)

Of all the matches in La Liga this week, why preview this one? Simple, I need a vacation and both of these teams play on beautiful, sunny islands. That both of these islands are often packed, sardine-like, with pasty, lager-soak British tourists is a tragedy we will save for another time. The 2009-2010 La Liga season is only two matches old, but it’s a case of “so far, so good” for these to perennial also-rans. Mallorca- generally the better of the two sides- are in fifth place and have yet to lose, while Tenerife are in tenth place with three points. Reasonable goals for the clubs this season would be avoiding relegation (Tenerife) and maybe sneaking into the final Europa League place (Mallorca). Fun fact: One of Tenerife’s goalkeepers is Mad Magazine cartoonist Sergio Aragoneses.

Ross County F.C. v. Ayr United (Saturday)

That’s “First Place Ross County F.C.” for those of you who have not been following the Scottish First Division as though your life depended on its ebbs and flows! But seriously, folks… County’s comeback win against Queen of the South last weekend put them into first place and they will be looking to continue their fast start as they meet the “Honest Men” of Ayr United. Ayr are already in the relegation zone and are no doubt not looking forward to making one of the longest away trips in the SFL (217 wandering miles) to face a team that is flush with both league and multiple cup successes at the moment. They won’t be feeling as bad as County will later this season when they have to go to the dump which is Somerset Park in Ayr. Crumbling concrete terraces anyone?

Manchester City F.C. v. Manchester United F.C. (Sunday)

A Manchester Derby this early in the season? A Manchester Derby in which the outcome is not a near-certainty? Lucky us! So, let’s set the scene: It’s the team of the moment, the big-spending, formerly also-rans in light blue against the self-important, trophy-hogging, bad winners in red. Unfortunately, the suspension of Emmanuel Adebayor for his face-rake on Robert van Persie and baiting of the Arsenal fans takes a little bit of the shine off the match. Nevertheless, City’s ability to score goals and United’s tendency to give them up early this season could make for a very entertaining match. Is anyone else underwhelmed by Dimitar Berbatov? Fun fact: I would like to tell you who has played in more Manchester Derbies than anyone else, but I don’t need the hate mail.

Columbus Crew v. Chicago Fire S.C. (Sunday)

Did I say that the Chivas U.S.A. – Seattle Sounders match was the marquee battle of the weekend? Well, okay…but, this is a match for first place in the Eastern Conference- sort of. A Chicago win and they’ll be tied with Columbus on points and only trail on goal differential. A win for the Crew and they may have sewn up the conference title for good- they’ll be six points and a game in hand ahead of the Fire with only five matches to go. In other news, Cuauhtémoc Blanco hinted this week that he’d be willing to resign with the Fire for another season. I don’t think they should do it. He’ll be 37 in January, pretty much gives a 100% effort only when he wants to, and in terms of production, an average of 5 goals and 9 assists a season is not much of a return on their financial investment in him.

PSV Eindhoven v. Feyenoord (Sunday)

When two of the top three teams in the Netherlands’ Eredivisie face off you pretty much have to talk about it- so I’m going to! Six matches into the Dutch season and the two clubs are tied for first place both in terms of points and goal differential, so this is about as big of an early season match as could be at this early juncture. Looking at the rosters of both clubs I’d have to go with Feyenoord in this match- they have more recognizable names and more international players. However, PSV reserves jersey “12” for their fans, known as “De Twaalfde Man,” or “Twelfth Man” and I just find that hilarious. Much more hilarious than than the “12” jersey that Feyenoord sets aside for the “Het Legion.” “Het Legion” translates to “The Legion.” Yawn. Based on these scientific factors, it’ll be a draw.

Olympique Lyonnais v. Paris Saint Germain F.C. (Sunday)

So, now for our non-Charlie Davies, non-Carlos Bocanegra related token French match preview of the 2009-2010 season. After five matches Lyon are in second place (on goal differential to Bordeaux) and PSG are in fifth place. Is it bad that the only name I recognized on Lyon’s roster was Jean-Alain Boumsong (because he once played for Rangers and Newcastle) and only two on PSGs’? You know who I’d like to see come and finish his career with a couple of years in MLS? Lil’ Ludovic Giuly, all 5′ 5” -ish of him. I mean, c’mon, if you lost your spot at Barca to Lionel Messi, you must be pretty good- right? Fun Fact: Did you know that PSG was, in part, owned by two American investment firms? I did not. Fun Fact 2: PSG has only existed since 1970. Really? Yes, really.