Avoiding the Drop

“What do you mean this isn’t about me?!  I’m David Beckenham- wait, that’s not right, is it?

What do you offer the man who- among other things- has played for Millwall, Aldershot, Djurgardens, Nottingham Forest, Tottenham Hotspur, Manchester United, Portsmouth, West Ham United, Colchester United, scored more than 350 goals in all competitions, is one of the top ten scorers in EPL history, has more than a half-century of caps for his country, played in a European Championship and two World Cups, won three EPL championships, an F.A. Cup, a Charity Shield, the UEFA Champions League, an Intercontinental Cup, and had a playing career that has already lasted a quarter of a century?  Why, a chance to compete for the F.A. Vase, of course!

“I think I’ll go for a walk…”

That’s right, Beckenham Town F.C. of the Kent League’s Premier Division (that’s the ninth level of football in England for those of you scoring at home- or even if you’re alone) has signed Teddy Sheringham.  Yes, you read that right, Teddy Sheringham, who, as recently as the spring of 2007 was still playing in the EPL.  Sheringham will make his Combined Counties League debut on September 19 as Beckenham Town take on Banstead Athletic on the road to the F.A. Cup Vase.  Sheringham will, apparently, only play in the vase competition, not in Beckenham’s league matches- he is 43 years old after all.

For those of you not familiar with the F.A. Vase, it is an annual competition open to “teams playing below Step 4 of the English National League System,” or if you’d like that in plain English, it’s open to teams in “level eight” or below.  In most years that means somewhere between 500 and 550 teams are involved in the competition.  There are two qualification rounds, six “proper” rounds, and the semi-finals and final are played at Wembley- yes, the real one.  As I am sure you know, last year’s competition was won by the Seahorses of Whitley Bay F.C., who defeated the Hillmen of Glossup North End A.F.C.

Why is Sheringham doing this?  First, because his friend- Chris McCarthy- is chairman of Beckenham town and asked him to.  Second, I suspect he is doing it for the same reason a lot of us who are now on the north side of 40 would do it- because he still can.