Generally speaking, I’m on three different co-ed soccer teams. My outdoor team, however, plays only in the spring and fall; because of this, I’m forced to sometimes supplement my two-game-a-week habit with the occasional pick-up game. Tuesday was one such night, and it occured to me while running around that, well, not everyone was on the same page.
I’m not talking about skill level here; it’s pick-up. You know going in that it’s not the World Cup; you’re doing this for exercise, after all. No, I’m talking about the general etiquette that should always be observed when you’re playing amateur pick-up. Since I can’t find it written down anywhere, I’m going to outline some of the finer points of pick-up soccer’s unspoken rules that’ll help everyone have a good time.
Ready? Let’s go.
DO: Always bring two shirts – one light, one dark. You have no idea which team you’re going to be playing on, so just plan ahead for the possibility that the dark team might not think your wild Messi-like skills are their kind of thing when they’re picking teams at the beginning.
DON’T: Bring a dark or heather gray shirt and then say “It’s light enough!” or “It’s dark enough!”. It isn’t, and nobody can tell which team you’re on until after they’ve passed it to you.
DO: Recruit people to come play. I’ve been at some pick-up games where there’re enough to do full 11-a-side teams; I’ve been to others where it’s three people on a team. That blows; it’s better to err on the side of caution here.
DON’T: Bring your new girlfriend who’s never played before. This isn’t a date, and you’ll probably just end up spending most of your game trying to show off while the opposing midfielder is hitting on your ladyfriend (sad but true story). Significant others and spouses who’ve played before are okay, of course (this goes for women as well, incidentally; your boyfriend doesn’t know how to play just because he was an offensive lineman in high school).
DO: Wear proper soccer attire. Shinguards are like $20 a pair; broken legs are way more expensive. Plus, for some reason it’s always the douchebag with the mad dribbling skills that doesn’t wear proper protection who gets pissy when a defender nicks him in the middle of his Ronaldo impression. Don’t be that guy.
DON’T: Wear proper attire for other sports. In my playing time, I’ve seen the following items from other sports turn up: football cleats, sweatpants (worn while playing), tennis shoes, and one very fit twenty-something who wore a pilates outfit (the “Contender”, from what I could tell). The pilates outfit was actually okay; football cleats don’t let your ankle move, tennis shoes have no traction, and sweatpants are just stupid. Anything with a metal cleat should never be worn.
DO: Pass and move to space.
DON’T: Dribble incessantly, only to desperately kick the ball over right in front of goal.
DO: Congratulate you teammates when they score or make a good play.
DON’T: Perform any of the following celebrations: the two-knee slide, the robot, the “shush” thing that Arshavin and Torres do, or a backflip. Seriously, just…don’t. Not even if you’re being ironic.
Seen any behavior at your local pick-up game you’d like stamped out? Tell us about it in the comments.
Don’t: Wear a full replica kit…even if you own one. Er, or several.
Do: Bring two shirts, but don’t be afraid to change colors before teams are selected to avoid playing with somebody you can’t stand.
Don’t: Do ANYTHING after you score except jogging back to your side of the field for the restart. You may return high-fives, accept backslaps, or nod calmly at anyone yelling “Atta boy!”
Do: Take into account the level of the other players. Going studs up into a 14 year old girl- no matter how good she is or how many times in a row she’s nutmegged you- will not impress anyone- especially her.
One I forgot:
DO: Try to follow the actual rules of the game and abide by an “honor system”; if the ball’s out, say so. If you pushed a guy, say that too…AND APOLOGIZE.
DON’T: Call every niggling little incident the opposition is involved in so you can take direct free kicks from just outside the area.
I have a full USMNT training kit that I got from my old job that fits real well but anytime I wear it (and I only wear it to kick around at the park) I always feel like such a dork.
Oh, you’re no fun. The “shush” bit is my favorite celebration ever. Nothing gets people pissed off like that one.
I’m right with you on the rest of it. Especially with recruiting. Five-a-side requires ten people and you better be damned sure you’ve got that number before even leaving the house.
So what’s the ruling on going Keano on somebody that chops me down at an earlier point?
And since I’ve never played a pick-up game before: What’s the etiquette for just showing up to a pick-up game? There’s a large gathering a few nights a week in a park just down the street from my place.
I would frown on going Keano for the purposes of writing a guide. That’s not to say I’ve never done it, just that you become “that guy that needs to calm down”.
It’s pick-up; usually just showing up is all you need to do.
[...] The do’s and don’ts of pickup soccer. [Avoiding the Drop] [...]
Thank you for referring to the douchebag who gets pissy. One of my least favorite people in the world is that guy on the pitch.
This was an awesome read, our local pick up game usually gets 10-12 people, last week we had 24, it was so awesome. The only rule we seem to break is the one about tennis shoes, about half of us only have those to wear.
Bah — I rarely wear protection during pickup games, and frankly, I’d do without shinguards in my own rec league if they’d let me get away with it.
I know it’s just some dumb internal psychology, but I convinced myself when I was a kid that shinguards made me slower. (Though maybe there was something to that when I was a 10-year-old carrying just a few dozen pounds.)
Also, I think you missed the most important “DON’T” of all: Don’t be the jerk who constantly berates and barks at your teammates, draining the fun out of the whole thing. (Hell, I can barely stand that stuff in a hardcore competitive match, let alone some breezy pickup game.)
Yes, that last one is big. It’s usually the big buff guy who played (american) football and is only decent because he’s got natural athletic abilities, but he treats the game like it’s the most important game in the world. Actually that guy translates to any pick up game, especially basketball.
As a defender, I’ve got the opposite internal psychology going: I’ve convinced myself I’ll be horribly maimed when I go for a tackle without shinguards. Nevermind that my ankle is way more susceptible to injury than my shin when that happens; I’ve played without and I’m way too nervous without a cheap piece of plastic protecting a bone that’s not often hit.
[...] On pick-up soccer. (Avoiding the Drop) [...]
Don’t: Overestimate your own ability; you aren’t nearly as good as you think you are.
dribble, dribble, dribble, shot 20 feet wide of goal, repeat as needed till nobody passes to you again.
Nice post but pick-up in the US is apparently something way different than in Holland. probably cause most of the time its on concrete, not grass, and maybe in a cage. for those of you ever here, should you want to play
DO: dont make a fuss if you have to play on another team then the guys you came with. if it works out that way, just go with it and make the best of it. Nobody ever wants to do it, but somebody has to, so it might as well be you.
DONT: play too physical or tackle. Its a small court, probably concrete. youre not there to bully people around, youre there to have fun and show some skill. or at least try to.
DO: wear anything you damn well want to. If you cant get figure out who the 4 other guys on your 5 a side are within the first 10 seconds, well, tough. Shingaurds are not necessary because nobody should be playing in a way that you might need them.
DONT: Poach. Should you be slowly walking back after a chance and suddenly get the ball, never just walk it in. Check it, go back to youre own part of the court or just wait for at least 1 or 2 guys from the other team to get back.
Yeah, I mostly play indoor and I have proper indoor shoes, so most of these rules are applicable. If you try a two-knee slide on a basketball court, you deserve it.
On the shinguard thing though, I never wear them. No one’s going to bother trying to slide tackle or do anything harmful on hardwood, and if you play correctly you shouldn’t be bashing shins anyway.
Very good article though, I really enjoyed it.
DO: if you celebrate when scoring, it will suffice to merely hold the goal # youve tallied in the air, as you return to half-line, and its okay to celebrate more if you A)do something awesome to create the goal, or B) score against a close friend, but no crazy celebrations, especially against eastern europeans, they do not enjoy this
DONT: be a cherry picker when your tired, and just ignore the offside rules, i hate when offside is cast aside, i mean, without offsides, the game is pointless
thats all i can add as of now
Haha, Pfelds, in Holland you do the opposite. If you do something awesome to create the goal, the best thing you can do is dont acknowledge it was awesome. that way everybody will think that for you, said awesomeness is completely normal
[...] The Do’s and Don’ts of Pick-Up Soccer “Generally speaking, I’m on three different co-ed soccer teams. My outdoor team, however, plays only in the spring and fall; because of this, I’m forced to sometimes supplement my two-game-a-week habit with the occasional pick-up game. Tuesday was one such night, and it occured to me while running around that, well, not everyone was on the same page.” (Avoiding the Drop) [...]
DONT: Think you’re special and never have to play defense. I hate it when there’s 3 guys just standing up top, who NEVER drop back on D the entire game, and just wait to poach goals. Even worse if you can’t shoot and waste chance after chance that other players should be taking.