Avoiding the Drop

What you missed while this stupid law (coupled with your expired driver’s license) prevented you from buying any cold medicine that actually works to clear up the demon cold from hell that your three year old gave you the other day when she slobbered her snot all over your face after sneaking into your bed in the middle of the night to give you a hug because she’d gotten in trouble for stealing her mother’s jewelry…

• Rafa Benitez is impressed with Ryan Babel’s fitness and has said that this is the year he’ll finally shine (which is code for “he’s totally for sale this year if I can get Ashley Young before Spurs do”); he’s also not planning on selling Xabi Alonso until after Liverpool’s Thailand trip.
• Seattle Sounds manager Sigi Schmid will not stand in the way of a Fredy Montero transfer to the Premier League; Fulham is rumored to be interested in the Colombian, who’s on loan from Deportivo Cali.
• Arsenal and Olympique Lyonnais are competing for the signature of Bordeaux striker and Moroccan international Marouane Chamakh.
• Sir Alex Ferguson showed his chatty side yesterday, revealing that United tried to sign Ribéry, opining that Ronaldo may eventually return to United, and claiming that Tevez isn’t worth £25 million.
• Peter Crouch has spurned Sunderland’s advances; Steve Bruce seen pouting with his friends in the corner, drinking and saying that Crouch is too tall for him anyways.
• Ghana captain Stephen Appiah is hoping to find a club that will sign him this season.
• Vladimir Putin has saved Tom Tomsk from relegation; the club wrote to the Russian Prime Minister for help with their $6.42 million debt.