I don’t usually make a habit of reading The Sun, but this story’s a little too much to pass by. Apparently, Wayne Rooney has a cousin. And that cousin is a drag queen. And that drag queen cousin is also an aspiring pop star, and he/she is currently trying to get his/her career off the ground with a new single (cunningly titled “So Many Men So Little Time”), which he’s promoting with his sister Natalie (whom, I suppose, is also Wayne Rooney’s cousin). And what’s said drag queen cousin’s stage name, you ask? Why, it’s “Coleen Smellybean”, which is an almost-clever reference to Wayne’s wife Coleen McLoughlin.
Natalie is also a complete mess, incidentally; she’s trying to own the biggest boobs in Liverpool (funny, I though that Everton had the ownership rights locked up there…?), and is currently in the process of scheduling plastic surgery in Spain to go to either an HH or a J cup. Of course, there’s really only one way to truly capture the insanity of these two: the inevitable reality TV show, entitled “At Home with the Rooneys”. No wonder Wayne’s always so angry.
And lest you think I made any of this up, here’s the NSFW link. I miss the Champions League already.
Maybe Natalie can recommend a Spanish plastic surgeon to Wayne so he can get those “oídos” fixed. Not that there’s ANYthing wrong with them.
[...] covered Wayne Rooney’s family in the past, of course, but any opportunity to revisit the reasons Wayne has rage issues is worth [...]
Only a few months till the world cup. The excitement is building. Bring it on.